Wounding of the Empathic Sense
One of the intuitive abilities that we are born with is our empathic sense. The empathic sense allows us to feel the emotions and feelings of others. Those feelings may encompass physical feelings as well as emotional. The empathic sense sends physical feelings to the body and those signals are interpreted within the framework of other intuitive senses and beliefs. For some people this is their primary intuitive sense.
The mature developed response to empathic feelings is to acknowledge the feelings and their source. The mature response knows that these feelings are not theirs but empathic information. The mature response sees their empathic sense as the catalyst for a compassionate response; inner peace in the face of suffering.
The immature response to empathic feelings is to take in the feelings of others and make the responsibility for someone’s physical pain, anger, disappointment, failure, etc. their own. The immature empathic response was developed as a finely honed survival skill in response to an environment that appeared threatening. The energies of others may cause a highly sensitive person to feel physical and/or emotional pain.
The empathic sense becomes wounded when a child is highly sensitive to the stimuli in their environment. Anger, depression, sadness, loud voices by anyone will be terrifying for a highly sensitive child. The reaction is a wounding of the empathic sense. The highly sensitive child takes the energy of these emotions and believes it is their fault the adult is unhappy.
The highly sensitive child may feel crowded out in a household with lots of children and/or chaos. They may not feel there is a safe place to be themselves. The chaotic energy of a large household can wound the empathic sense. The child goes unrecognized and begins to believe that all they do is wrong.
A professional healer in any field (allopathic, energetic, or consciousness) that has poor boundaries as a consequence of a wounded empathic nature can find themselves energetically drained at the end of a day of working with others. These weakened boundaries may also contribute to a misunderstanding of the information being received. This person can lose track of their own needs in the face of working to meet the perceived needs of others. The filter through which this empathic information is received is colored with their own unmet needs. This healer is attached to the outcome. In a few years/months they may burn out.
- Fears feeling bad
- Fears other people’s feelings
- Fear of knowing too much
- Fear that they won’t know in time
- Fear of harm/ hurt
- Hide in the middle- This could be likened to hiding in plain sight. The person with a wounded empathic sense makes decisions based on not creating controversy or comment. They adjust what they say and do to stay safe. They stay safe by making sure they have pleased the people around them. They have spent so much time in this place they have lost touch with their authentic self. They no longer know what they believe or feel. They have taken on the beliefs of others to be safe. Their own needs are suppressed. They may find that when they have taken on too much of the energies of others they start to cry. If the person is asked the reason for their crying, they will not know. They just know that they have a deep inner sadness.
- Can’t say no-They have an inability to say ‘no’. They take on more and more responsibility or tasks because if they say ‘no’ they may hurt someone’s feeling or make someone angry. If they hurt someone’s feelings or make someone angry then they will be hurt. They work very hard to please others. To them an angry person is very dangerous. They work to avoid confrontation with others.
- Always a feeling of being in trouble-There is a nagging feeling in the center of their chest that they have done something wrong and they are about to get into trouble. This feeling is with them all the time. They have a constant feeling of living on the edge of disaster. They carry a projection that everything that goes wrong is their fault.
- Sexual feelings are confused for love-Love based relationships have at their core confusion between sexual feelings and feelings of love from the heart. They commit themselves very quickly into relationships with no real understanding of the other person. They have come into the relationship with a distrust of their intuition so they don’t trust that level of information. The closeness brought about by a sexual relationship becomes their basis for love. This in time often leads to disillusionment. When the relationship fails or they can’t seem to do enough to please the other person they have just received validation that their feelings are dangerous and can’t be trusted. This results in the creative aspect being denied or shut down.
- Masculine and Feminine out of balance-The feminine aspect is strong and reflects an over active anticipation of the needs of others. The masculine is weak and the person doubts themselves. They are certain they will fail and they are afraid to put themselves out there.
- Skewed sense of appropriate social reactions- Family may have had drama queens/kings that were dominant in the family structure; mother, father, grandparent, etc. They dominated the conversation and energy in the household with their physical/emotional needs. The family dynamics led to no one else being allowed to express their own physical or emotional feelings safely. The expression of feelings was met with ridicule or shame. They learned early that it was risky to express your feelings. They also learned not to trust what they were feeling. Their feelings became a source of self-betrayal that would lead them to ridicule or shame. Intuition is not trusted and is suppressed. They may not know how to appropriately communicate their own feelings of physical or emotional discomfort. The ability to react appropriately to someone else’s physical or emotional discomfort has become dampened and may not be appropriate.
- Always in a state of analysis- The mind of a person with a wounded empathic sense is constantly searching for the right answer, the right thing to say, and the appropriate reaction to external events. Their responses must be based on a logical thought process and not their feelings. Everything must be backed up by an analytical sequence of thought. If they are wrong there is no shame in a faulty logic process. The shame is felt if their response was based in feelings. If they made a mistake they will go back over every step in the sequence until they know exactly where the error occurred.
- Sense of being alone- This person is in a constant state of inner turmoil. They have a feeling of being alone and that no one understands them. They have no inner peace.
Cross Indexing: Attention Deficit Disorder, PTSD, ACOA, Addictions, Nausea, Headache, Headache-Migraine, Headache-Tension, Shoulder Problems, Anxiety, Depression, Wounded Creative Core, Skin Disorders, Autoimmune disorders, Lung disorders
- Bad things happen when I’m not looking.
- Crying is for babies.
- Everything is my fault.
- I am always wrong.
- I am depressed.
- I am guilty for everything.
- I am in trouble.
- I am responsible for all bad things that happen.
- I am responsible for everything.
- I am shameful.
- I am to blame for everything.
- I am to blame when things go wrong.
- I can never let my guard down.
- I can speak my truth and be safe.
- I can’t let go of ________________.
- I can’t make a decision unless I have all the facts.
- I can’t paint/write/draw/____________(creative efforts).
- I can’t say no.
- I can’t shut my brain off.
- I can’t speak my truth and be safe.
- I can’t trust my family/people.
- I can’t trust my mother/father/brother/sister.
- I don’t know what it feels like to say no.
- I don’t know god’s definition of compassion.
- I don’t know god’s definition of love.
- I don’t know god’s definition of my authentic self.
- I don’t know how to feel.
- I don’t know how to feel safe in my body.
- I don’t know how to say no.
- I don’t know how to trust my feelings.
- I don’t know the different between my feelings and someone else’s.
- I don’t know what it feels like to trust my feelings.
- I don’t know what love feels like.
- I don’t know who I am.
- I don’t trust myself.
- I don’t understand the difference between sexual feelings and love.
- I don’t/ can’t trust my feelings.
- I must always be on alert.
- I must analyze everything before making a decision.
- I must do what others want me to do.
- I must take care of everyone else first.
- I must take care of others to be love/wanted/accepted.
- I must tell myself what to feel.
- I need permission to feel.
- I want to die.
- I will never be good enough.
- I’m no good at creative things.
- I’m not good enough.
- I’m not loved.
- If I relax someone will hurt me.
- It is safe to be in my body.
- It is safer to be analytical.
- It is weak to feel.
- Listening to my inner voice is dangerous/wrong.
- Love is pain/hurtful.
- My feelings are irrelevant.
- My feelings are wrong.
- No one will believe me if I tell them how I feel.
- No one will believe me if I tell them the truth.
- Others tell me what to feel.
- People are mean.
- People hurt me.
- People think I am lying.